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Blog Challenge… are you game?


Blog Challenge from Here I Rayne

When my friend Nadine Rose Larter did her blog challenge, I was overwhelmed with ideas, fears, doubts and inspiration. All jumbled together off course (nothing is ever simple in my life). I loved and hated the challenges equally, but one thing I could not deny, was the way my writing improved. How I learned to experiment with different styles and how to say anything when I needed to or when I wanted to. When the challenges dried up a little due to Nadine’s book coming out (buy it here) (read the reviews here and here) I felt the loss keenly. Thus the inevitable birth of my own challenge page… This challenge is open to everyone on condition that you please post your links in my comments; I want to be able to read your contributions!

Here I Rayne Challenge #1

Exploring my shadow:

This is a simple concept, with psychological impact. This idea was birthed especially for the Tequila Thursday Writing Club, and I had so much fun exploring the psycho bitch me, that I felt it only fair to share the fun. This is what I want you to do:

Take one moment in time where you were extremely irritated/angry/happy/sad/peaceful and, writing as yourself, make yourself do or say something you never would. That’s right, you are not just happy, you are insanely happy. You’re not just angry, you’re psychotically pissed off. Build that emotion up to its natural conclusion. Anything goes!

 
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Posted by on August 4, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

The Katalina Blog Challenge #9: A Little Bit of Random

The Katalina Blog Challenge #9: A Little Bit of Random

After another busy week of “here is a working mother whose husband had a recent birthday” and all the chaos that naturally went with that, I finally got around to reading the latest challenge on the Katalina Blog Challenge and absolute loved the idea. Nadine Rose Larter has outdone herself this week. I sat staring at the bookshelf for a bit before deciding to pick a book. Star Trek books, JRR Tolkien, Harry Potters, Philosophy, Wilbur Smith, ancient cook books mixed randomly with computer course manuals (no one said I was organised) Between a book on Zen Buddhism and Huisgenoot Kook a frazzled piece of what may have been termed a book once (a really long time ago) a dog-eared coverless collection of pages draws my eye. Taking it out, I find a true lost treasure. A book I read so many times as a kid that I am surprised that I can’t recite it from beginning to end. Louis L’Amour’s book Where The Long Grass Blows.

There was a lonely place where the trail ran up to the sky, turning sharply away at the rimrock where a man could see all the valley below, a splendid green of forest and meadow fading into the purple of the farther mountains. The silence there echoes into the cavern of a man’s soul, bringing him closer to the peace that everyone has inside them, that so few ever find. At least, that’s what my Dad used to say. Standing at his grave, I have the perfect view of that ridge and even though twenty years has come and gone, I have not been able to walk that road again. I’ve not been able to find that peace again, and now that I’m a man, I need it more than ever. It feels almost sacrilegious to stand here at his grave contemplating walking up that ridge, looking at the valley below, knowing that I’d only be doing it for the remote chance of finding that peace that has eluded me for so long.

Twenty years. It’s a long time. I look at the tombstone, not even registering the words, just tracing their outline with my eyes. Curving up the S following the T into the circling O. Over and over again my eyes follow that O. I find that the regret I have lived with so long is gone. I’m completely numb to everything. The overgrown grave, the tumbling ruin of the graveyard wall, the sun dappling through the majestic cover a gigantic poplar. I’ve come in order to make some kind of peace with the past, to find that place inside me where peace lives.

I was hoping that I could find it here, perhaps take a walk up to that ridge and simply soak it up. The truth though is that it’s not that simple. You can’t simply open yourself up and say, I’m empty, fill me up. When you open your arms, it doesn’t mean someone will walk into them.

When the brightness of the sun fades into shimmering reds and golds I realize that I have been standing motionless at his grave, unable to move my feet, following that O, glancing at the ridge, back to the O… The proverbial tennis match. I force my feet into a turn-around, my movements sluggish and reluctant. I won’t find peace here, and yet I have a feeling the only peace I’ll ever know can only be found here. Can you find peace anywhere else when the peace you want was placed 6 feet under by your own actions?

 
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Posted by on April 15, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

The Katalina Blog Challenge #8: Screw Yous and Other Taboos

The Katalina Blog Challenge #8: Screw Yous and Other Taboos

As a person who swears only very rarely; my opinion on the subject may come as a surprise. I have no problem with swearing. In fact, my favourite band, Dropkick Murphys has some kind of love affair with the musical variety of more-acceptable-singing-it-than-saying-it swear words. Some of my favourite books have taught me all the inventive ways that the word “Fuck” can be used for; like Fan-fucking-tastic; ri-fucking-diculous and so on.

 

Dropkick Murphys

Now the real question: If I don’t swear, is it because I have a secret hatred of swearing or a secret fetish with it? No; on both counts. I rarely swear because when I say it, it just kind of sound tacky and unconvincing; as if I’m trying too hard. I don’t think I have the convince-factor a word like “Fuck” requires… unless I am really, really pissed off.

This doesn’t mean that I do not swear in my head. Today, for example, I met my inner sailor. Yeah, I wasn’t fond of her; she kind of scared me to tell you the truth. I prefer to use the Battlestar Galactica made-up-swear-words-are-cooler-than-real-ones Frak as a substitute for “Fuck” It feels more me.

Now all that being said; I feel that I am highly unqualified to give a true opinion on swearing. I feel no qualms whatsoever about words like “ass” or “pissed” or other slightly more (and occasionally less) socially acceptable words, but the local P-word (dutch for cat) is not something I like to hear, to say, or even to read. So I will definitely not put that to paper.

Here are a few swearwords and their distant family; and my opinion on them:

Cunt: Not a favourite to be honest, it could be something to do with the fact that I had no idea what the word was when I said it the first time. My mother was shocked at her seven-year-old’s vocabulary to such an extent that I got a slap for my efforts, was grounded for two weeks and received a complimentary sent-to-my-room episode.

Ass: No better way to express affection or loathing. Think: “He’s such an ass” or “Jeez, check out that guy’s yummy ass” or “Drag your sorry ass back here!” I kind of like it, so not a swear word, just a nice expressive word.

Pissed: I like this one. It really expresses my occasional outbursts. Sometimes I just get really pissed off, okay?

Bitch: I like this one. A friend and I regularly rag each other about it, so I only have funny memories about it and reserve this for good friends as a result.

Crap: This should not ever be considered as a bad word. Some people do regard it as such though. I have no idea why.

Fuck: The one word I can never quite pull off. This may be why I like it so much. It is, to me, the most unattainable swear word in the world, and the one that everyone except me seems to have a knack for. You can stretch it out “Fuuuuck” to give it some extra oomph. You can insert it in the middle of a word for that extra little something. You can use it pretty much in almost every word’s place. This must be the most versatile word in the world and it is finally getting the credit it deserves. So yeah, this is a favourite.

Thinking about all of this, I find that I actually do swear. I just cover it up with pretty words that convince me and everyone else around me that I don’t really swear. The fact that I don’t swear more should then automatically win me some kind of award.

 
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Posted by on April 9, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

The Katalina Blog Challenge #7: Let’s Talk About Sex

The Katalina Blog Challenge #7: Let’s Talk About Sex

Sex huh? Yum *slaps self through face* Focus. Right… uhm, yeah, sex. In writing? Well, personally I feel it’s better in a book than on the screen. You get to go back to a word and go “wow” before you devour the rest of the scene with your mind. Love this challenge.  Not because I know how to write sex scenes, because I’ve never tried and honestly, I don’t know where I would start. I love a well written sex scene. It brings something out in a character that few other things do. That is, if it is well written. My personal opinion on it is that it has to be unique and deeply emotional.  If it’s not, I kind of skip over it to get to the rest of the story.

I believe that sex is something that is so much a part of our genetic make up, that I simply don’t get why people want to hide it. What? Like you don’t like it? Yeah, whatever. If you don’t, you’re doing it wrong. I do blush though. Don’t ask me why, discussing it, reading it, watching it. Blush blush blush. I think it has more to do with whether it’s obvious that I’m getting turned on to the outside viewer. After all, it’s not like I can have the problem seen to whenever I want.  What if I’m in a very public place? Yeah, I’ve read a steamy one at work and boy, was that an uncomfortable 10 minutes before I could calm the hell down. I kind of wished that I could go to my hubby’s office, close the door and… have my way with him.

I respect that some people may be offended by it, but I think that has more to do with their own shame than the content or the sizzle factor. I like porn and erotica. There is a difference in my opinion. Porn is more explicit, more to do with getting to the point where you just want satisfaction whereas erotica is the buildup. Driving your temperature up to boiling point until you really do need the porn…err, satisfaction.

It’s nice when a book has a brilliant story line that sweeps you away, has the building tension scenes where you just wish the guy would shove her against the wall and have her and then… the guy actually does it. Hmmm mmmm.  That’s why I love reading JR Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series.  Boy, does that lady know how to put down sizzling flames on paper. Yikes. On top of which her characters are so realistic. I cried through most of book 3. The character was stolen as a baby and raised as a slave. The atrocities done to him somehow felt worse because it’s just not something that happens to a big strong guy, then, enters a lovely lady that has to save him by letting him save her and you get to be there every step of the sizzling way. Okay… better get done with this, I have to go reread a good book :-)

Yeah, so I like a good sex scene in a book. However that is not the only requirement. I’ve read a book where every page had a sizzling sex scene and the book just kind of went downhill. No big storyline, no wow factor, only sizzling sex.  Which is fine, but my mind sometimes need more than a sizzling precursor to throwing my husband down on the bed every two pages of the book. Note the ‘sometimes’? Yeah…*blushing*

Bottom line, I think that a sex scene is something I still need to do.  My book has very little to do with sex though, so it may be a while before I get to it, but it’s definitely something that I still want to try.  I have no qualms about putting it down because after all; I have nothing to hide.  This is who I am. I’m a mother for goodness sake. How do they think that happened?

 
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Posted by on April 2, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

The Katalina Blog Challenge #6: My Writing Self

The Katalina Blog Challenge #6: My Writing Self

After a two week busy spell where everything seemed overly hard, I was completely unable to put any constructive words down. Even my notebook started feeling neglected. I made no progress on my blog, nothing on my book and still have three dreams to interpret for friends. On top of which I have once again overcommitted myself to various people and projects. So off course when Murphy heard I was so frazzled, he waved his wand of inspiration towards Nadine Rose Larter of Katalina Publishing and suddenly, I was faced with the hardest challenge of them all; celebrating my creative self. Wow. What a bummer.

Reading this challenge had me groaning. How do I celebrate something that I suddenly had no access to whatsoever? I kept putting it aside off course.  If I didn’t read the whole challenge, I’d feel okay about skipping out on it.  Off course, I started obsessing about the challenge trying to think of what I would say and got nowhere fast. I couldn’t even convince myself to read my favourite blogs because that would probably just make me feel worse. So when I eventually decided to just suck it up, read the challenge and think about it, I realized that Murphy isn’t such a bad guy (well, sometimes) He had a rather nifty plan getting me out of this slump.

Instead of telling you why my writing self is so great and celebrating it, I think, right now, I need to be thankful of finding that inner space reserved for putting pen to paper, or at least, fingers to keyboard (how times have changed)

I think more of myself as an expressionist, rather than a writer.  My choice of expression just happens to be words. When life gets so busy that I can’t express myself, I literally feel myself fizzing out. Have you ever dropped a fizzy tablet in a glass of water? It just fizzes away until the water is all orange and the tablet is gone. When I can’t write for lack of time or lack of inspiration, it feels as if I dissolve into the glass of everyone else’s opinion and I completely lose myself. Writing helps me share myself so that the world does not consume me. It is my lifeline in a mundane world filled with bills, responsibilities and humanity’s sensibilities.

My writing self is the mother who sings lullabies despite having the worst voice in the world, the wife who cooks a mean mac and cheese, the woman who confidently dresses up despite the fact that she forgot to shave and greets the world with her head held high. Thank you Nadine; for reminding me that she’s still inside of me, even if I don’t always see that.

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

The Katalina Blog Challenge #5: Sophisticate Me

The Katalina Blog Challenge #5: Sophisticate Me

I have no idea where to start with this list, or if I’ll even get 25 points that will make me feel sophisticated and successful, so I might need to grab at a few “happiness” straws,  but here goes:

  1. New shoes – because nothing makes you feel better dressed than a new pair of smashing shoes. And a walk in shoe closet…. hmmmm
  2. Black lace. (I don’t know why, but lace is so awesome)
  3. Cocktail dresses that flow softly with great shoes
  4. Perfectly pedicured feet, soft-skinned heels and a perfect nail varnish; because ugly feet in new shoes simply won’t do.
  5. Sharing fresh Sushi with my husband and eating it out of real Japanese plates.
  6. A nice fireplace with a roaring fire
  7. Having my own personal library, with floor to ceiling shelves
  8. Owning antique swords and knowing its history (there’s something deeply moving to connect physically to the past)
  9. The day after having gone for a wax; the tenderness is gone and your skin is unbelievably smooth.
  10. Having my hair done; because no matter how many times I try, I simply can’t get it right.
  11. Sharing good wine with great friends; swopping silly stories.  Having the time to do this does not come often.
  12. Hardcover books with glossy covers. There’s just something about the sturdiness and beauty of it.  Top that off with a great story inside and it’s the whole package
  13. Soft clothes and hard towels. I like the crispness of a clean towel; I feel soft fluffy towels just doesn’t dry the same. Clothes should be soft and should flow easily.
  14. A dish washer.  It uses high temperatures and really kills germs and you have the added benefit of it saving on water, and not having to put your hands into that horrific green stuff *cough – dishwashing liquid- cough* that eats women’s skin.
  15. The perfect fit coat or jacket.  If it is tailored perfectly, it really enhances any figure. It makes me feel like a million bucks to wear a tailored jacket.
  16. Crystals and semi precious stones. The incredible delicacy of some and the wild beauty of others grabs my imagination like few other things.  If I could be surrounded by such beauty all the time…
  17. Chinese bamboo in clear straight vases.  The beautiful green of these plants are just mesmerizing.
  18. Issey Miyake perfume.  Because I can’t smell it but everyone else comments on it.  Few things make me feel more beautiful.
  19. Red Heliconia flowers.  They are so delicate and so sturdy at the same time. The clean lines are captivating.
  20. When people look right into my eyes; it signifies trust and faith.  It makes me want to live up to that.
  21. A sphynx cat, because they are simply gorgeous. I like taking care of animals or people that really need me.  It makes me feel important.
  22. Red lipstick.
  23. People trying to keep me safe. I’m more than capable of doing it myself and everyone knows this, but when someone is concerned for my safety it makes me feel more like a girl.
  24. My fountain pen.  It just feels so much more real than the keys of a computer.
  25. My Book Of Shadows. Because I made it from scratch and hand-painted almost everything in there, and wrote everything in by hand. Because the heritage in that book will live on forever.

Apparently I have more facets than a brilliant cut diamond; so I might just be a diamond in the rough.

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

The Katalina Blog Challenge #4: Why I Write

The Katalina Blog Challenge #4: Why I Write

Why do I write?  This is a question that I never really thought of and yet, thought of all the time.  Strange statement, but truthfully, the most accurate.  It was always just an awareness of the question, I don’t think I ever truly had the guts to think about it, and as there was no need, I didn’t have to.

I grew up in an artistic family.  My mother was a painter and music teacher, all my siblings were phenomenal at at least one of these things; if not both.  Then five years after “The Next Big Painter” was born, an anomaly came along. You guessed it, me. Here was a child that excelled at drama and languages, but sucked at painting. Who had the discipline to practice her music every day and was able to play five instruments… very very badly. The only child that did not make it into the school choir. I still remember the humiliation of that day.  Being the youngest of five children in a very small town, meant that every one knew how talented my siblings were.  At singing, music, painting, drawing, you name it. I tried out for the school choir and was accused of trying to disguise my voice so I don’t have to sing in the choir. My very embarrassed mother had to explain to the music teacher that I in fact could not sing at all.  The truth was that I really wanted to get into the choir and prove that I too was part of this phenomenal family, but to coin a phrase; I couldn’t carry a tune if it was in a bucket…

Being the youngest of five children, meant that my siblings taught me to read and write at a very young age.  I devoured my first book just before I turned five.  I still remember the black and white pictures in the book: “Dr Dolittle” I discovered that I could hide in story books.  In fiction I could be whatever I wanted, the hero who saves the day, the victim that survives against all odds, the most talented person in the world. I started reading every book that I could find. I read “Circles in a Forest” when I was seven.  Imagine my surprise when I read it again years later; it was not about the elephant at all.  I had missed a large portion of the story due to my inexperience. This realization caused me to re-read many books, obsessing about the story line. It came as no real surprise that I wanted to start putting down story lines myself. The first story I ever wrote was a one pager regarding my visit to a world where lions could talk (they ruled the world off course). This story was written in the back of one of my school work books and inevitably was discovered by my teacher. I can’t recall her name, but she contacted my parents to try and convince them to nurture this love of writing.  I was too young to remember much regarding what followed, but as there was no enthusiasm from my parents, I started trying to hide my stories.

Inspiration is such a sneaky one though, you inevitably start writing on something you shouldn’t because you suddenly have this excess of words that need to escape, and any surface will do. Occasionally my writing would be found and the critique was quite severe for someone as young as I was.  I started using that to try and improve my skills.  Years later I started writing poetry which, once again, sometimes just had to come out on whatever surface was closest.  My dad found them and was stunned. He had no idea that the little girl who fantasized about talking lions would one day be a poet.  Published or no, that is how he saw me.  For the first time in my entire life, my family realized that I was creative and good at something, even if it wasn’t the same things they were good at.  I still love music and painting, but my true love will always be writing.  The potential of an empty page always captivates me.  What is in store for that perfect white page? Then ideas seem to flow and inspiration sneaks up…

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

Katalina Blog Challenge #3: Pretend You Are Me

Katalina Blog Challenge #3: Pretend You Are Me

First of all… Are you sure? I mean, you may never speak to me again after this… Oh right, that’s probably why you are doing it…

Before you get started for the day; here are a few last minute things that you will need to know in order to be convincing.

  1. When opening the post box, dustbin, cupboard, or anything else for that matter; you do so tentatively, with two fingers, or one if at all possible. You carefully peer inside without completely opening and once you have visual confirmation that it’s safe, you open it entirely. If there are visible spiders/webs, you drop whatever you are holding (including that crystal glass you got for your birthday) and back away swiftly; yelling like a ten year old. This rule applies to anything that can be opened – unless you can see it’s entirely safe; like glassware.
  2. You do not kill spiders unless they are poisonous and you are at least two meters away with a full bottle of Doom and if no one else is there to do it for you. The non lethal ones are allowed to be evicted by your husband (as long as they are never seen again) Afterwards you are required to shudder uncontrollably and mumble things like “Blech”, “Ugh” and “Eek” Insert shudders between every word.
  3. You drop the keys or padlock every day; not because you’re clumsy (let’s face it, you’re an accident waiting to happen, but that’s not why) but you’re usually so busy checking it for spiders that you can’t keep a grip on the things in you hand.
  4. You are clumsy. You walk into walls, desks, office dividers and the fridge. Every day.  Even though you know it’s there, you can’t help it. You just do this. You’re mostly okay with it, but occasionally you swear.
  5. You don’t swear, and when you do, you’re more surprised than the people around you.
  6. When you do swear, you use the Battlestar Galactica word: “Frak” Because it doesn’t count.
  7. You really don’t need another pair of shoes.  Let it go.  NO! Put that extra pair of heels down; you’ll probably never wear them.  I know they’ll look fabulous with that dress you have, but just let it go.  I know you can.
  8. When you succeed beyond all odds; you are required to exclaim your success in Klingon.  The word you’re looking for here is: “Qapla!” You use it instead of the cornier option of “Eureka” You never use the word Eureka.  EVER.
  9. When someone is a complete idiot and you think you may despise their idiocy; you have to mutter under your breath: “P’Taq” To help you decide upon the proper time for use of the word: It means useless piece of garbage.
  10. When saying goodbye to someone you may never see again (only when you wish them well off course) you whisper out of earshot of everyone: “Live long and prosper”
  11. You really love Star Trek
  12. No matter what you hear about it; you know it is the best, and you stand your ground. The fate of the Empire rests with you.
  13. You love most Sci Fi and Fantasy and there is little you do not know about King Arthur and Merlin; including the fact that Merlin was possibly an arse that betrayed the king.  You just don’t believe that Merlin ever would. No matter what Wiki says, Morgana was the most evil bitch in the world.  The End.
  14. You love Vampires, but you’re a purist.  VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE.
  15. You’re terrified of zombies. Something about their witless slow stumble freaks you the hell out.  The best part about zombies are when the good guys win, or someone survives against all odds, but when the movie/series is on, you can’t seem to help yourself.  You must know. You can’t stop watching and you enjoy it.  Weird.
  16. You’re afraid of Wrong Turn.  Those people are just nasty. Saw (all of them) was too gross to finish watching.
  17. Movies like Omen, The Exorcist and Paranormal Activity wasn’t scary at all.  You don’t know why people are afraid of it, but you humour them anyway.
  18. You always notice when people are going through an issue/problem, and you have to help them.  You don’t know why, but you just know you can, so you do.
  19. When speaking to people you love (this rule applies to all animals) you call them one of the following: Gorgeous (Mostly used with Waldo and the cat) Beautiful (this one is exclusively Casey’s) you are also required to add a “ness” afterward on occasion; just for variety: Awesome “ness”, Gorgeous “ness” and so on.
  20. You give people close to you/friends/people you admire silly and appropriate nicknames.
  21. People you like are referred to as “Honey” You don’t know why.
  22. You have to bath the cat at least once a month, brush him for an hour a week, and cuddle with him at least once a day.  You don’t care about the sinus and rash (you’re allergic to the cat)
  23. When you’re nervous, you babble.  Incessantly.
  24. You believe in ghosts (which you admit), you believe in fairies (which you deny) and you believe in people (sometimes)
  25. Sometimes you don’t know when to quit. Who’re we kidding? Quit is for other people.

This additional information should be able to make the switch a little more believable, but when in doubt, grin idiotically and mutter in Klingon. No one else understands it, so you can call them whatever you like. Just be careful. There are a lot of closet geeks in the world.  If they sign off your salary or are much larger than you, smile and fake it. Or ramble.  This usually works to scare even the most tenacious away. Don’t give me feedback and don’t phone for instructions.  I don’t care. I’m going to take a nap.

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

The Katalina Blog Challenge #2: Inserting A Solution

The Katalina Blog Challenge #2: Inserting A Solution

She was exhausted. So tired that she could barely drag her armored body out of the marsh pits. She managed, barely, and collapsed on a piece of moist soil, on the edge of the stinking marshlands. For a week, she was trapped in the marshes. Seven days and seven nights.  Freezing, alone, exhausted. More alone than she ever would have known possible.

She had not entered the marshes alone. She was not meant to leave it by herself. Her friend and fellow soldier was supposed to help her, to carry her wounded behind back to base. The events of the last few days left a bitter taste in her mouth.  She could still not believe it.  The intelligence came from a reliable source, a close friend for seven years.  How was it possible that the enemy could know? How did they trap them so quickly and efficiently? The first day she was stunned that it was possible at all.  Now she knew different. Not only was it possible, it was intentional. Everything was planned out from the very beginning.

The week started out normally enough.  Recon work, straight and simple. No heroics, get in, get out; be invisible and efficient. Straightforward. Right?  It was to be a two man team which got bumped up to three at the last minute. She has worked with the third team mate before, not often, but trusted her well enough to believe things would be fine. The Third was an efficient soldier, and has moved up in the ranks by sheer force of will; a trait that she respected greatly. Things were going great. They had enough intelligence on the enemy movements to be able to report something constructively. Who the better soldiers were, which units were the most dangerous, where each unit was based.  They were ready to move on; get back to base. They were crawling through the marshes, trying to remain unseen when the enemy raised up around them, as mist rolling around a cliff, invisible until it was entirely too late to turn in time, to escape the inevitable sheer drop of death below. They were calm and self assured, as if they posed no threat, which in truth, they wouldn’t against such sheer numbers, but she would fight to the death; she’d rather die fighting than undergo endless torture where she may even betray her family in sheer desperation to end the pain.

Her blade was ready, her eyes focused… unfortunately they were focused on the wrong enemy.  She had not expected an enemy in her camp, even then, she had not expected two. The Third took the sword and tossed it hilt first to the enemy commander. Her friend of seven years kneed her hard in the back, bringing her to her knees in unexpected pain.  A pain that was not only physical, but deeply mental and emotional.  Such betrayal could not compute in her mind.  She could not understand the concept. “Why?” she cried.  Her friend gave her a look of utmost contempt and spat so close in front of her that she could feel the spray on its descent. “I will not discuss this with you!” Her mind reeling, she was led away, unfeeling, broken, uncaring that she may be tortured.  Her mind could simply not fathom such evil; such deep betrayal. Her chest ached with the sheer weight of it.

As she was led into the camp, her eyes made brief contact with a gigantic monster.  He was at least seven feet tall and was surrounded by three smaller foreign looking men. She could not even flinch away from his sheer size through her pain.  She could simply not wake up her spirit.  As if her spirit had given up and died; her friend’s betrayal had given her spirit a mortal wound.  Nothing could change it. She would die, and it was best because what are we without our souls?

Sitting in the frozen, dark cell; alone, she heard a faint scratch of metal against metal. She crept back against the wall,  imminent torture waking her dull mind and insisting she fight back, insisting that she wake her wounded spirit, that she rather die than betray. The gigantic monster leaned into the small cell and whispered in a heavy accent. “Follow me”

Not understanding why, she crept silently from the cell, finding the three men that was with the giant earlier, there with him.  They all motioned for her to be silent and crept (remarkably) gracefully from the camp.  They led her about a kilometer away from the camp before the giant spoke. “Your people have friends here, and however long until we see them again, we will miss them.  You remain in our hearts.” With that, the giant crept back with his four accomplices.  Never giving their names.

She kept creeping away from the marshes, toward home, knowing, somewhere behind her, four brave souls were fighting with honour for the righteous in the only way they knew how. That day, those four men saved her life, forever becoming a part of her heart as well. She may never see them again, she may not know their names or even why they did what they did, but they would remain with her forever. In thanks, in love and light.

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 

The Katalina Blog Challenge #1: Who Do I Think I Am?

The Katalina Blog Challenge #1: Who Do I Think I Am?

The city was built on the only land did not have electro-magnetic tectonic plates. It was the only place that any form of technology would work at all. As a result, it was highly sought after, and a war has been brewing for ages over who would have the rights to this land. Her people were currently the strongest power, but she, like so many others, had to serve in the army to defend that right.

Sighing, she grabbed her helmet.  It was time.  She had so much left to do and already it was time.  She was wearing the archaic armour that was the only protection that had any effect outside the city gates. As she was leaving the front door of her humble house, helmet underneath her arm, the early morning sun glanced off her golden brown hair.  She had to squint her green eyes at the sudden brightness.  She was slightly photophobic, which apparently means light sensitive. In her case it also meant very afraid of having her photograph taken! The flash was very unkind to her pale cheeks that could turn red in the blink of an eye, in fact, it was more often red than pale! She hated that fact but hated make up more, so what the heck, right?

Digging in her bag for a smoke, she shook her head at herself again, another bad habit that she had to break, but she would when she was ready.  All she really wanted to do was to be an artist, to write and to paint, to dream… Yet, here she was, again leaving the humble home she loved to fight the good fight. She loved the archaic armour, the Damascus steel sword in her right hand; it allowed her to dream of times gone by. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to do, but someone had to do the donkey work, right?

She was a family girl at heart. Loved her husband, loved her daughter, loved her friends, and so the sacrifices she made to her personal wants was justified. Being a procrastinator of note, this allowed her to keep putting off her creative work, she had to work, had to keep things going, had responsibilities and duties to perform.

There was always time to do the things she loved; she just avoided it, but why? Was life really easier just keeping things going, taking things a day at a time?  She sighed to herself and clocked in at work, greeted the other soldiers…

Reminded again that they were so much better at it than her, she felt frustrated by her own inability to make a difference to the bigger picture. If only she were smarter, stronger, funnier, wittier… People would like her more, would respect her.

She felt silly almost immediately for undermining her self-confidence like that, but these habits are so hard to break. She shook her head and remembered, her husband found her as a broken wild kitten that had lived on instinct for so long, that all she could do to allow herself to feel would be to rip out his heart and feed it to him. With patience and dedication and unwavering loyalty he broke that shell and reminded her of her true destiny. The one that involved faith, love, creativity and perseverance. Smiling, she put the helmet on, and left the safety of home behind, shielding herself from harsh blows and life altering mediations, she waved her sword strategically, cutting through the dark parts of her soul. She had faith, she had love, she had creativity and by all that was good and holy, she would persevere.

 
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Posted by on February 17, 2011 in Katalina Blog Challenge

 
 
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